Dying Would Be Easier
by Charisma2
Summary: Anywho, this isn't the Antarctica story ya'll are all familiar with about Rogue and Remy, it refers to that but it's got a different twist to it. Chapter 5 now up! Complete Story!
1. Broken Dreams

Disclaimer: I don't own any or claim to own in any way any of the X-men, except Katie Bower.  
  
Notes: This is a story you've probably heard a few dozen times, but I decided to kick it up and knotch and give it a lil twist. (You'd hafta watch Emeril to appreciate that ^^) And this is definitely not the best chapter, my favorite is the third one, but if you'll read this one, you can understand the other two, and you'll be happy and I'll be happy!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
It's been so long since she's been there, it was a sight for sore eyes indeed. It was true that she had been there after it happened. She dropped him in that bitter coldness, scarcely feeling the biting wind. Feeling nothing in fact but a deep hatred of the man whom she had come to consider her soul mate.  
  
It was approximately one week after her gloved fingertips slid out from under his arms and she'd spat those angry words at him that had obviously affected him like poison to his soul. She could clearly remember his odd red on black eyes full of a pain that only she could inflict. Eyes that many were frightened of, but ones that she found terribly enchanting and had only gotten lost in.  
  
From there she flew up, away and left him to die. Plain and simple. The massive overload on her brain from absorbing the one person she wanted to get to know like a normal person had caused her to pass out when she finally stopped flying somewhere near Boston, Massachusetts. A nondescript abandoned apartment building that smelled of rot and feces. When she awoke, six days later, and was aware of what she did and what it meant, she flew at top speed towards Antarctica.  
  
There was virtually no way she could tell where she dropped him or where he was, with the sporadic snow storms and miles of blinding whiteness.  
  
She must have searched for fifteen hours nonstop. Flying above and combing through the landscape as best as she could. The only thing she found was a simple piece of rectangular paper. A solemn two faced queen peering out at her with a cold gaze. Red hearts at each corner. Clutching the card she had given him as a symbol of her love, she flew back to the mansion nearly dead from exhaustion and hell bent on finding him as soon as her own resources were back to normal. Her bedroom window was still open like she left it, and as soon as she flew in, she landed on her bed, too tired to sleep or move. Finally sleep came; however, it was under a flood of warm, wet tears.  
  
She woke, to the commanding voice of someone who has put aside all feelings for information.  
  
"Rogue, get up." The voice itself wasn't enough to rouse her, though she heard it somewhere in her unconscious state, but the blast of icy cold wind coming through that same window was enough to make her come to her senses.  
  
Another blast of wind, this one strong enough to lift her from the bed and turn her vertical to face one of her dear friends, the Weather Witch.  
  
"Rogue, get up." This time her efforts succeeded in making the green eyed beauty open her eyes. Standing before her was the exotic Wind Rider, one graceful hand extended towards the window and seeming to hold Rogue suspended. Eyes flushed a milky white and face set in an expression of harsh grimness.  
  
Behind her, stood the stocky Canadian, large arms crossed over the wide spance of his chest. His expression was harsh, but less condemning.  
  
"Rogue, where is Remy?" Storm's words were crisp and clear, authoritative and used to being obeyed.  
  
She blinked a few times in confusion and then it all hit her like a hundred foot wave crashing on the rocks. If Storm weren't holding her up, then Rogue's knees surely would have buckled underneath her.  
  
"Ah, Ah...." She had hoped it was all a bad dream, but the redness of her skin where the cold managed to bite through her invulnerability in places and the seriousness of their expressions told her it by far wasn't.  
  
The wind shook her back and forth with a stunning force. "Rogue?!"  
  
"Easy 'Ro, let tha kid talk." Deep voice of silken smoothness.  
  
Tears started running down her cheeks. "Ah, Ah left 'im. Ah left 'im there, 'n' when Ah went..." She was cut off by the wind tossing her like a toothpick across the room. It probably wasn't meant to be that hard, but her limp limbs still contained immense strength. She felt her body break through her wall and fall like hay towards the ground. Reflexes shot and still not feeling fully coherent, she hit the ground and sunk in two feet.  
  
Bones battered and body slight bruised, she picked up herself and flew off the mansion ground, not to return for two years. Nothing can describe the betrayal she felt. But she couldn't really blame Storm. She had left her best friend out to die.  
  
***  
  
What happened in those two years is pretty cut and dry. She had flown to Texas, a little town called Bandera that consisted mostly of hills and dirt. There were a few ranches located there and she took up a job as a cowgirl. Bonified and certified. She hid that she was a mutant and for a while convinced herself that she was happy. The little southern belle in boots and spurs. People could tell that she wasn't from around there, but she was a hard worker and that's all that they asked.  
  
Whenever she got time off, she flew to Antarctica to look for her Cajun love. Always coming up empty handed. She still kept the card, and he was on her mind atleast 30 seconds of everyday.  
  
To amuse herself and pass the time, she took up her old hobby of breaking hearts. It never making the dull throb in her own go away though.   
  
So for about two years she lived the life of a drinking, gamblin' cowgirl. A lifestyle that in a million years she couldn't have pictured for herself. Maybe that's why she took so much comfort in it.  
  
***  
  
So there she stood, cowboy boots and all. Silver spurs, tight fitting wranglers and a green button down, long sleeved shirt, brown gloves on her hands, and cowboy hat perched upon her thick auburn and white hair. The headband, card, and an extra pair of clothes in a worn suitcase by her side.  
  
She didn't know why she chose this day of all days to come back. Something in her soul both ached and longed for something. And she had a sinking feeling that it was here.  
  
Walking the rest of the way to the stairs, she takes them one at a time, as though her very mental health depends upon this simple act, which it very well does.  
  
Lifting her gloved hand, she knocks three times, loud, clear and distinct. It seemed an eternity that she waited there, footsteps echoing in the distance beyond the door.  
  
Finally the door was pulled open. Storm standing there in all her usual majestic splendor. She blinks once, twice, and a third time. Rogue stands there in obvious anticipation. She had been sore for weeks after that fall. Now was the time, the time that would decide whether or not she would be going back to Texas.  
  
"Rogue, child come here." Storm's long arms opened like a mother hen's wings welcoming her child. Smooth voice filled with warmth.  
  
Rogue smiles, obviously relieved. Setting her suitcase down, she walks a few slow steps forward, nearly collapsing into the woman's embrace. Perhaps the first amount of human contact she had had in years. As far as contact skin-to-cloth went.  
  
The embrace tightened for a moment before releasing her. "We have all missed you so...where have you been?"  
  
Rogue pulls away and picks her suitcase back up. "It's a long story..." She had to admit that she was a bit confused. "No hard feelin's sugah?"  
  
Storm takes a few steps inside, opening the door wider for Rogue to come in. "Of course not. I did not mean for that...incident to happen. I was very angry and for once didn't control it as I probably should have." Storm was in a good mood it seemed, even after all that had happened.  
  
Rogue nods, walking in a few steps and waiting inside for Storm. The mansion was just as she left it, and the security system still recognized her. There was one question on her mind and though she was outspoken, she felt it better left to be answered in due time.  
  
Storm walks past Rogue and into the living area. Rogue follows her, glancing about ever so often at the familiar decorations.  
  
Perching herself on one of the plush couches, long tanned legs cross one over the other. Storm's hand comes from her lap to pat the velvety material beside her. "We sent a small team out, led by Logan to go find you." Voice quiet and contemplative, reminiscing.  
  
Rogue sits down beside the Weather Witch, hand coming up to her cowboy had and pulling it off her head, but behind her, so it rests on her neck. A string keeping it there. The tuff of auburn and white being brushed impatiently back with a gloved hand.  
  
"So many things have happened while you were away. But first, tell me all about what happened with you." Deep brown eyes meet ones of emerald green.  
  
Rogue smiles almost nervously under her good friends scrutiny, slender shoulders lifting in a shrug. Inside she really wants to cry with frustration and anticipation. "Ah want down ta Texas. Good buncha people. Ah worked on a ranch, with tha horses. It was almost normal. Much easier than punchin' through cement."  
  
Storm hadn't said anything about Rogue's clothes but you could have the perception of a two year old and still be able to notice them. "Quiet the fashion statement." Storm's lips curved upwards in a smile as she says this meaning to loosen things up.  
  
Rogue laughs a bit, it working. "It's not tha green 'n' yella mission suits, but ya get used ta it."  
  
"So that is where you have been this whole time?"  
  
"Yup"  
  
"We couldn't figure it out, wait until the other's hear our Southern Belle turned Cowgirl."  
  
"Yoah turn sugah, fill me in." Rogue didn't have any hard feelings against any member of the team. She was surprised Storm was the only one to express her opinion on the matter, but maybe the others just didn't get to her in time.  
  
Storm sat there for a long moment, pondering what words to say next.  
  
"There has been something new declared by the anti-mutant leaders. It is called Operation: Zero Tolerance. Along with this is the mass production of a new line of sentinels." Voice calm and reserved, but a burning hatred in her deep brown eyes. "We have only had two separate encounters with these forces. One was a month ago. Sentinels came charging up here. We were all put on full red alert. It took nearly the full team to take down three of them. Since then Charles has upgraded the security system."  
  
Rogue takes all this in, she hadn't heard anything about it in Texas. But they rarely watched TV and their subjects centered around business in the ranch. It was like another world. "Ah haven't heard anythin' of it."  
  
A slender brow is lofted from the exotic beauty, but she doesn't really look surprised. Of course facial expression were never a big part in how she expressed herself.  
  
"An' tha othah one?" She hasn't fought anything in a long while and hearing things like this bring an old aching into her fists. A kind of fire lights in her eyes. It seems the old Rogue is showing herself.  
  
A shadow passes over Storm's face and she seems reluctant to speak. This baffles Rogue and it makes her all the more eager to hear. And just when Rogue thinks that Storm isn't going to speak, she does. "It was two months after you left and one month after Zero  
Tolerance started. There was a report of a small band of mutants who were captured while trying to rescue a fellow mutant in New Orleans."  
  
Rogue blinks a few times the very last word having an obvious effect on her. Eyes fill with a glimmer of hope. Though Storm doesn't see any of this. Eyes gone far away as though reliving the experience. Or maybe she doesn't look at Rogue's face because it would have too great an effect on her. Rogue stares intently at Storm's face, leaning forward slightly and her gloved hand grasping the cushy end of the couch cushion in anticipation.  
  
"At first we thought it was you, child. But now that I think about it, you would have wanted to be anywhere but there."  
  
Rogue merely nods, wanting for her to go on.  
  
"Charles told us to assemble a team and go rescue all involved and bring them back here with no human casualties. The team consisted of me Cyclops, Jean, Wolverine and young Jubilee." She pauses, taking a deep breath and sighing, a few white tendrils being blown from her face at the unconscious movement. "The fight was a swift and hard one, with Logan sustaining the most damage. Though he can take it. Obviously we had taken them by surprise, or else we would not have gotten that far.  
  
"Most of the victims had been knocked unconscious, so we loaded them all up into the Blackbird and headed back home.  
  
"We did not know until we got them all back here, that one of them was our good friend and teammate, Gambit.  
  
"The whole mansion was buzzing with life after that. True we were worried about the others; however, we were all so happy that he was with us again."  
  
Rogue can't speak, her eyes bubbling with emotion. Hope, happiness, excitement, tredemption. So that's why there were no longer any hard feelings from Storm. "Where is he?" she wonders why Storm didn't tell her sooner, but there was no way that she could know how much Rogue missed that Cajun. It felt like her heart was finally healing. Her hand relaxes on the edge of the couch, it looks like someone took a couple tons off her shoulders.  
  
"Rogue, child, there is something you must know before all else." Oddly the expression doesn't leave Storm's face. She talks with the same monotone and face devoid of emotion. Though her chocolate eyes pulsed with an emotion that was anything but happiness for her friend.  
  
"After he got better, which only took him a couple of weeks. Stubborn he is, and not wanting to stay a moment longer..."  
  
"That's Remy foah ya."  
  
"There was a new addition, that helped Hank with Remy, her name is Katie. Dr. Bower. She is a telepathic genius. She worked quiet diligently with him..." Storm's voice was thick with emotion, as though she could sense rough roads ahead. She looks like she wants to cry, but Storm never cries, so the tears don't fall.  
  
"Ah'll send 'er a Thank Ya Card. What's yoah point Stormy?" The annoying nickname goes unnoticed. All Rogue wants to do is see Remy, these thoughts cloud all other judgement, even the one that enables her to read between the lines.  
  
Storm senses this, and it makes it all the harder for her to go on. "Listen to me Rogue. In the weeks that proceed this, Remy and Dr. Bower got close. Since then she has never left his side and they are now engaged to be married." It was easily the hardest thing she's ever had to tell someone.  
  
Rogue's eyes go wide and she stops all movement though she really wasn't moving too much to begin with. Her bottom lip trembles and her hand that grasps the edge of the couch tightens involuntarily it seems, it being crushed under her massive strength. Fluff spews from the side like a fuzzy waterfall of couch guts. The soft material falls from a trembling gloved hand as she pulls it back into her lap with it's mate. A heart once restored, now broken into a million pieces with a blender on high. The emotion on Rogue's face is tragic. Crystal clear tears roll out of her big green eyes and down cheeks that the surface of a peach can envy.  
  
The look on her face is too much for Storm to bear. She quickly stands and makes her way out of the room, voice hoarse with an emotion she can barely control. "You are welcome here Rogue, no one has done anything with your room." And when she turns back to make sure the invulnerable woman with super strength, and skin that could kill a man with a single touch, but a heart of glass, heard her, a frown laces her lips as she sees   
the girl is no longer there. The weather goddess walks out of the mansion and lifts herself into the air with the slightest of movements from her arms. Already dark and menacing clouds loom overhead and thunder booms in the distance. Ever so often lightning illuminates the sky. Tall slender body rises higher in to the air and she chews on her bottom lip, tears welling up in her eyes but with obvious reluctance. She didn't have a power of empathy, but she could practically feel what her dear friend was going through. Torn between two emotions, sympathizing with Rogue, or feeling happy for Remy. She was biased, she knew, her heart going out to Remy and wanting him to be happy. She thought this she would be betraying Rogue in some way. But didn't Rogue leave him to die? She couldn't control herself for once and in a matter of seconds a storm raged outside. Wind, hail, rain, lightning and thunder shakes the very foundation that the house rests on. The windows rattle under the force, but hold strong. And for a few moments, the weather witch can let loose.  
  
Little does Storm know, that when Rogue flew out, she flew outside and onto the roof that held so many memories. There, she sat down and hugged her knees, arms crossing over them and fingers digging into the rooftop to keep from moving. Her head burrows into her knees. Hot tears mix with rain and dampen her face. Clothes soak through to the skin and her cowboy hat had long sense broken off it's string and is somewhere far away on the mansion grounds.  
  
Inside the mansion few would regard the storm with little more than a quizzical glance at the sudden down pour, but those who know Storm go to their windows and look out. Wondering what could've happened to make her let loose so harshly.  
  
***  
  
Notes: I changed the comic history around and adding stuff to suite my purposes of the story. I know Storm's personality isn't the best, or her accent atleast. If you have any comments/advice it's appreciated! Second and third chapters up! See...I'm a good person, I made this thing reader friendly for ya'll. I know that I don't read a story if the format sucks, so maybe this will make it better. 


	2. A New Hope?

Disclaimer: Yeah, Yeah, you know the drill. I don't own any of it. Period. Oh yeah! Aside from Katie. But yeah, that's it.  
  
Notes: Thanks a bunch to Randi! You've inspired me like no other! Even if it was under selfish intentions.   
  
Notes on the story: Usually I hate the fact that people bring originals into the storyline with comic characters. I hate that more than anything. Why am I doing it? Well, I just couldn't see Remy with anyone in the team besides Rogue, so I had to make a new character up. Now, if you don't like her, I'll respect your opinion and all that mess. But what I'm really looking for is feedback. What you don't or do like about her...etc etc. Much appreciated!  
  
***  
  
Chapter 2  
  
It had been around noon when Rogue had came back to the mansion, and only two hours later when Ororo Munroe had fed her news that probably destroyed her soul. The storm had raged throughout the rest of that day and well into the night. Only ceasing when the Weather Witch herself had collapsed onto the rooftop that she had so bitterly let loose on a few moments earlier, bone tired and emotions rung dry. But oddly calm. She so rarely got to let loose that when she did, it was refreshing, and despite whatever had gone on to make her feel so terrible, it often inspired her with a new hope. Laying there now, clothes wrinkled and soaked, she sleeps peacefully. The lines of worry and stress smoothed from her chocolate brown skin in an act that only sleep can produce. She doesn't dream, and the calm felt in her soul is reflected in the night sky. Clear and perfect, with stars that gleam brightly. An exact contrast to the weather a few moments ago.   
  
Rogue had clung to the roof, and made ten little marks where her fingers had penetrated through the shingles. Tears of anguish, heartbreaking pain and anger had littered her face until nothing but dry heaves came from within her. She silently willed with all her being for some basketball sized hail to knock her in her head and take her out of her misery. Or a lightning bolt to strike her dead and free her soul. And she cursed that power that ran through her veins and radiated from her that prevented this from happening. Prevented the very act that normal people fear and are weakened by. Death. That one word lingered in her mind and she was convinced that if she were to be embraced by those dark arms that the world would be a better place for not having known anything else about Rogue. The mutant. Skunk head. The woman with the super strength and a heart of glass. This was how deep her despair was. But she was too much of a coward to take her own life, and deep down she knew that nothing Storm was doing now could bring about her death, she still wished for it. Even after she had collapsed, in much the same way as the Weather Witch...in fact, a mere seven feet from the other woman, she was terrorized by such thoughts. Clothes ripped and nearly in shreds, but good ol' country clothes held together like most others wouldn't have. She had very little actual damage done to her, and besides a few bruises, it would sicken her to know that she would be good as new on the outside when she awoke. Guilt, and pain spun around in her head and made her slumber a fitful one. Her body jerked with spasms and she often cried out.  
  
Somewhere in the mansion Remy Lebeau looked out his window just as the storm was dying down. He wasn't the same man, not at all. One who had lived to experience things that only occured in horror stories or dreams that were never meant to be uttered from fleshy lips. No longer was he the Charming Cajun that left heartbroken girls in his wake, or the Swamp Rat that you just hated to love. His enchanting eyes had gone murky and rarely ever lit up with the same fire that once was there. He had lost a lot of weight, and even now it showed. He worked hard to get his body back in shape, but even almost two years later it was an ongoing battle. His joints were still affected by the cold and it took him a while to limber up to be as graceful and agile as he once was. His hair was just now gaining back the luster that it had lost. A tortured soul. One that had spent far too long contemplating things that no one ever should. He had kept his sanity and his life...but barely. Everyone could sense the change in him and he hated it. Hated that she could take away so much of him. Hated that he let her, and hated that there was nothing he could do about it. He had never ceased to feel pain. Physical, mental, emotional. Even when he tried to fill that void again. Tried with Katie. Did he love her? He didn't know. There was really only one person he knew he could ever love. She was gone. Torn away from him the moment her fingertips ceased to touch his.   
  
Whispers, whispers and shifty-eyed glances. That's what she got whenever she brought up the subjected of the mutant named Rogue. Laying there in the bed she shared with Remy she knew that he was thinking about her. He had gotten this look about him before. But it was that slim time in the few months that he was recovering. He'd mumble in his sleep and his eyes were so tortured. She hated her. Hated that someone could be so uncaring. You just didn't do that to someone that you loved. Remy was a new man. She had done that, had held his hand while he clawed his way out of her grasp. She loved him, with all of her heart. And even if he didn't love her quite that much, she still wanted him. She had made him a promise. When they had first gotten together, that she wouldn't ask about anything in his past. She didn't want to know. It wasn't a part of the life that they had started together. They were new and clean and Rogue was old and dirty. She had told him that everything that had happened was in the past and there was nothing they could do except move forward. And he had proposed. She had thought that she could be enough for him. Everything she was offering him. A body sculpted from Venus herself, a brain that she knew that River Rat couldn't compete with. Intelligent conversation and mind blowing sex. What more could a guy want? Then she had sensed another mutant. And dipping into her mind had only proved more baffling. She had mental shields the like that Dr. Bower had never seen.. It was like they weren't intentional at all, and just strewn about enough to confuse anyone who might inquire. A few times she had tried to look up the girl on the mutant database, just to find out what all the story was. She couldn't very well ask Remy about it, because of the promise she made him. And anyone else she went to told her that she needed to talk to Remy. The database proved to be a dead end. Even for one as experienced in technology as she was. All of her files had been locked away. Under a password that was hell to get into. Not like she would know. She had even put the proverbial crowbar up to it. It hadn't budged. Thoughts such as these swirled into her mind until it lulled her back to sleep. Little did she see her soon to be husband slipping out of their room to investigate the disturbance.  
  
***  
  
It was on Logan's watch that everything had gone haywire. So he had just gone into the mansion and stood by the window, smoke from a cigar billowing around his head while he waited for it to end. It didn't happen very often, but when it did, it was just better to stand out of 'Ro's way until she got it all out of her system. He didn't expect it to last as long as it did. And when it ended and he saw the almost ghost-like form of Storm float down to the roof he figured that he might as well go see what had happened with her.   
  
Passing through the front door his nostrils flared. He took in a deep breath, depositing the cigar in an ashtray located conviently by the door. Two years. Nearly two years it had been since he saw her. She was more like a daughter to the old man more than anything. It couldn't be her. But here it was, the evidence of Rogue seeping into his nostrils and triggering a flood of memories in his mind. The last time he saw her. Damn shame too. Rogue...and what was that? Horse hair. Whatever. The stocky Canadian stomped out of the house, headed for the rooftop deal with Storm. He was sure now more than ever that the two were connected.   
  
Laying on the ground amidst soggy grass and crushed almost beyond repair was a cowboy hat. At first he thought it was one of Logan's, but the he spotted the braided rope that went around it. The rope was in near perfect condition, despite being soaked. He picked up the hat, long fingers flicking off a few blades of grass and flexing to pop it back into it's original position. Horse hair. Far too coarse to be human. This thing must have costed a fortune. He turned it over in his hands, inspecting it. Inside, there was a green band that lined the inside of it, stitched onto the achingly familiar cloth were the words "To the woman who enchanted us all, came in a tumbleweed and left a spirit of the wind. We'll miss you." "To: Rogue From: Cowpokes in Texas." His breath caught in his throat and teeth tore into fleshy lips. He dropped the hat and took a few steps back. He was right. Anger filled inside of him. Anger instead of pain. He liked that more. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, willing the anger to subside. In many ways it was easier to control than pain.   
  
"Easy Cajun. We knew she'd hafta come back sometime." Logan's thick draw came from behind him. "I think ya'd better just go back ta bed and let me handle this." He grunted and came up beside the taller man, stooping, he picked up the hat. "Nice hat." Horse hair, that explained a lot.   
  
"Ah wan' ta see 'er, homme." He was utterly still. His anger defused by the Canadian.   
  
He didn't argue. What good would it do to tell him that it would probably hurt him more than help him to see her right now. Logan just nodded and turned, leading them to where many answers, and even many more questions would lie.   
  
They hadn't said anything they way there, and even now they didn't say anything. It wasn't much of a surprise to see Storm, sprawled out gracefully and sleeping peacefully. They weren't worried about her. Storm was tough, and she looked like whatever had happened had done her good. If they tried to move her, she'd just lecture them the next morning. But Rogue. The site of her right where she was could melt even though hearts made of solid steel. Or ones that were worn that way. And it did. For a fleeting moment, Remy felt his heart start to thaw and his eyes softened, in that moment he could have gathered her up in his arms muttering apologies in French and vowing to never leave her side. But just as quickly as it came, it disappeared. He thought of all his time spent on that ice burg and the utter despair he had gone through. His heart toughed up and he crossed his arms over his chest in a symbol of finality. She deserved it, she deserved so much more than that. Even now her fitful jerkings only brought disgust from him. If he thought it would change anything he'd try and kick her head in with his foot. But it would not only hurt him, but it wouldn't hurt her. She probably wouldn't even feel it when she woke. Love's a bitch, a double edged sword and nothing that songs say it is.   
  
Logan watched his tortured friend silently. He still loved her, and it killed him. He wasn't a telepath, or had empathy. But he could read the Cajun's eyes as well as he could read a book. He loves her and he hates her. Logan broke the revere the Cajun had bound himself in by grunting and running a hand over his face. Rogue did look terrible. She was never as good at hiding her feelings as most people And all the shit that she had been through was visible. If not by the marks on the roof, than by her bone thin body. It hurt to see her like that. It was obvious that she hadn't been eating properly. Probably not anything serious like an eating disorder, but more a loss of appetite. She used to be voluptuous. Now she was thin and wirey, with muscles that were thin instead of ...well healthy looking. There were large, dark circles underneath her eyes and her cheeks were puffy from crying. Her hair was still thick, but it had lost it's luster and despite being pale, she was just nearly translucent looking. She looked like Remy did when they had found him. But he was willing to bet there wasn't a person in the world that could nurse Rogue's heart and soul. Her body would heal. Even though most people thought Dr. Bower had healed Remy, Logan knew better. Storm chose not to see anything but the happiness Remy clouded her eyes with. He didn't trust her. And even now, he felt sorry for Rogue.   
  
"Damn, I just laid those shingles last year." Might as well fix his eyes on the practical when he knew that he had no emotional advice. The Cajun had made that clear last time Logan had tried to give him some help. He stooped down, and picked Rogue up easily, throwing her over his shoulder. Once she came in contact with him, she quieted, and only whimpered softly. When Logan turned around, Remy was gone. Just as well. He made his way back to her old room and mused quietly to himself. Just as Storm ...and Dr. Bower ...were Remy's crutches, he had a feeling that Logan was going to be Rogue's. Remy sure wouldn't do it, and Storm was on Remy's side. So who did that leave? Cyke. Fat chance.  
  
***  
  
Burning light, she crunched her eyes and wrinkled her nose and slowly opened them. Head turning away from the light she groaned. Why did it feel like she had been hit by a mack truck? Familiar. Everything was also so familiar. It took her a moment, but she finally recognized it. She was in her old room. And the light was from the window. It must have been about noon judging from the glare. Tensing some of her muscles, she found out that not only was she sore, but she also wasn't in the same clothes that she was when she came here. She remembered very little from last night, only the storm...and that's about it.  
  
She tilted her head just a bit, and found it in working order. A tank top and a pair of boxers. What she used to sleep in. Gloves on her hands and her hat hanging on the bedpost. It looked a little worse for wear but it was doable.   
  
Her eyes scanned her room. Logan. She gave a small start, eyes going wide. "Deah Gawd sugah, ya nearly scared me outta mah skin." She blinked a few times and sat up. "Ah have a feelin' Ah didn't jus' get up and deside ta go ta mah room in tha middle of tha night."  
  
He grunted, something he was good at. "Nope. I did it." Gruff voice displaying little emotion.   
  
"So...do ya hate me?" Voice so innocent, almost as though she was expecting it. He face softened.  
  
"I don't hatecha darlin'. But we've gotta talk."  
  
She didn't like that. Logan was usually straightforward, but this straightforward? It was scary. "So talk. Ah ain't goin' no where."  
  
"First of all. Don't you ever go somewhere an' not tell me. Someone, anyone. I don't care whatcha did, or what happened. Don't you ever do that again, or I swear not even yer invulnerabilty will save ya from the ass whoppin' you deserve." He nodded his head. That said. Rogue's lips twitched in a smile. But she said nothing. Big green...doe eyes, sad.  
  
He begun pacing. He didn't like telling people what they didn't want to hear anymore than the next person. Someone had to be the bad guy, though, and he was usually picked as it. "It was wrong whatcha did Rogue. But it wasn't all yer fault. Don't let anyone tell ya otherwise. Both of ya'll 've been through hell, one look at ya last night and one look at him a couple of years ago told me that. An' as much pain as you've been through, he's been through it too. I'm not takin' anyone's side, but I know that if ya'll don't straighten this thing out, it could affect the whole team. And we don't need this now. He's goin' on with his life, and you need to too. I figure, you've got two choices. Either ya give in, and go crazy, and we putcha outta yer misery. Or yer stronger fer this an' overcome it like I know ya can. There, I've said my spill." He crossed his arms over his burly chest and sat back down, eyes finally falling on Rogue.  
  
It hurt. Dear God it hurt worse than anything she could ever hear. Except maybe that Remy was engaged. She hated it, hated that she was right and that he wouldn't just let her crawl up into a hole and never come out. Deep inside she knew that if she didn't chose to just let this blow off her shoulders, that he would make it to where it blew off her shoulders. Even if it he had to pin her down himself and make it happen.   
  
She chose her words carefully, thinking about everything for a long time. She didn't think she could do it. Hell, she was nearly drowning in her despair just last night. She had hurt for so long, that she knew if she didn't let some other emotion in, she would kill herself. It made her sick that she'd let herself get this far. But she didn't know what to do about it or how to fix it. Him. She just had to show him that she was stronger and that he couldn't affect her. So she'd work. Get back onto the team, and make Remy want her back. It might not ever happen. But she owed him that much. Even if it took the rest of her life.  
  
"Ah'll try."  
  
He knew that was the best he was going to get out of her for right now. He nodded, and made his way out of her room. "Good choice, kid. By the way...nice hat." And that was it. He had given her a choice, and she had taken the one that pleased him. Why couldn't have Remy responded to him that well. I guess that whole "Forget her and move on" thing could only affect him if it came from a pair of ruby red lips. Remy always thought with his cock more than his head.  
  
***  
  
Welp, that's all for now. I've still got ideas, I just want to make it into another chapter. I hope ya'll like this one. Oh! And for the life of me I just can't remember how Logan's accent went. It bugged the hell outta me. I know I must have screwed him up, but reviews on what you think would be nice.  
  
Oh yeah, and I'm terribly sorry for the format of the first chapter. I know it sucks so bad. I'll try and fix it within the week. 


	3. Tension

Disclaimer: Ya-Ya I don't own any of 'em 'cept Katie.   
  
Notes: Umm...none right now.   
  
***  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Logan watched her from the little monitoring booth far above the danger room. She was everything one could want in a woman. Strong, beautiful, deadly and mysterious. Despite how hard he tried to distance himself from her, it hurt all the more seeing her luscious pucker of pink carnation pout and those sparkling orbs of emerald jaded as thoughts of the Cajun ran through her mind. He watched her swatted like a flay by the huge arm of a sentinel, a grunt passed through his lips as she got up, shook her head to clear it and broke off that same arm, using it to beat it's owner into nothing but scrap metal.  
  
***  
  
It had been six weeks since she had her little talk with Logan. Had it helped? Logan thought so. Did Rogue? She didn't know. She didn't get to spend a week in bed and pig out on mint chocolate chip ice cream like every other girl who has had a break up. But she wasn't every other girl, and this wasn't every other break up.   
  
She didn't get that chance because every day at approximately 6:15 Logan came into her room and turned her mattress over. This happened for about two weeks before Rogue got the hang of it and was dressed and ready to go when he came into her room. A girl learns stuff like that when you have to make your bed for the tenth time in a week.   
  
They would practice together, eat together, and talk. Very few of the last one though. She finally figured it out after the third week that Logan was taking charge of her life so she wouldn't have to run into Remy. Everywhere they went, he never was. She expected to see him turn a corner once and a while, but he never did. He was protecting her. Normally she would throw a fit and throw him into the next county so he'd leave her alone. But she really didn't think that she was ready to turn a corner and see the reputable Dr. Bower sitting in Remy's lap and feeding him grapes or something. A little exaggerated, yes, but it was the exact thing that ran through her mind when she came to this conclusion.   
  
So here she was, the sixth week of her little makeover. It was about 6:00 and she was just about to change clothes and get ready for whatever exertion that Logan cooked up for them today. Large green eyes peered into the mirror in nothing but cotton panties and a matching bra. She didn't usually look at herself in the mirror. Alright, ever since the afternoon Logan had left her room after he had talked to her.   
  
She had gone into the bathroom to shower and change. Stripping off her clothes she caught sight of herself in the mirror and it was enough to draw a gasp from her throat. Her ribs showed through the pale flesh that served as her skin. Her eyes were sunken into her skull and her hands looked old. Thin whisps of hair that framed her face were brittle and horridly sparse. She raised a bone like hand up to her face, and her thin shoulders started trembling...as thin as it was, it still had the force to crack that mirror with barely a hares breath of a touch. It was replaced the next morning.  
  
Now she could see the improvement. It had been so hard. To choke down three meals a day when she wasn't hungry for one, and to exercise to within an inch of her endurance. It paid off. Her muscles gained tone and strength, her skin flushed back to it's milk white and she gained a whole forty pounds that she had lost somewhere in the last two years. Her hair was shiny and full of luster again. Today was the day, she had made up her mind.   
  
He knew it. When Logan walked into her room unannounced, as always, he knew that familiar fire that had once ignited in her eyes had returned. And he even knew the words that were going to come out of her lips before they did.   
  
"Ah wanna see 'im."   
  
"I know ya do darlin'. He's in the danger room."  
  
He knew it wouldn't take her long to get there either. At the rate she flew out of her room.  
  
***  
  
Remy had purposely avoided Rogue ever since he saw her on the rooftop. He wasn't ready to see her again, wasn't sure if he'd ever be. He had a new life now, and the only thing she would bring would be trouble with a capitol T.   
  
Katie on the other hand had kept tabs on Rogue. Since she knew virtually nothing about her, it was interesting indeed to probe Logan's mind on what they had been doing. Rogue was a very powerful mutant indeed, and she wasn't even up to her potential yet. It was because she had set up this little arrangement that she knew where Rogue was going this morning.   
  
***  
  
Rogue took the corridors at breakneck speed, her heart pounding and her adrenaline pumping. She knew that if she went any slower or stopped to think about what all might go wrong, she might lose the nerve. Landing a few feet from the danger room she gives herself a minute to compose taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly. "Come on Mississippi, yer actin' like a scaredy-cat an' ya ain't got no reason."  
  
Walking up to the door, she punches in her code to enter, and the door opens, she quickly steps inside, and it closes behind her. She has to let her eyes adjust to the scenery and she almost chokes back a sob. It was Antarctica. The harsh wind and bitter cold all too familiar.  
  
***  
  
He was in a crouch, trench coat flapping behind him and one muscled forearm over his eyes to keep out the icy wind. Peeking out from behind it, he nearly faints. Rogue, standing right in front of him. Tangible. He knew he didn't program that into the simulation. It was just like he had dreamed it so long ago. He, near death and just about to give up all hope when she comes, like an angel out of the sky to rescue him. Lost in the moment, he falls to his knees at her feet.  
  
***  
  
Spotting him, for the first time in over two years her eyes fill with tears. She expected one of a million reactions to him seeing her. But what she got was definitely not something she expected. He fell to his knees and reached out to her. It scared her, and she took a step back.   
  
A most strangled cry fell from his lips and he huddled on the ground in a ball as it happened again. The woman he loved rejecting him. Eyes darted from one place to another and she looked up at the seemingly real bitter Antarctic sky. "Computah: End Simulation!"   
  
Immediately the surroundings left them and they were there, in the middle of a large metal room. Rogue fell to her knees beside him, arms aching to touch him, eyes feasting on his body like a man long without food.  
  
His body spasmed and his head shot up, tendrils of red falling to shade his demon eyes. Once full of longing and hope, now of anger and pain. "YOU!"   
  
Rogue stumbled back to her feet. "Remy...Ah...Ah."   
  
Remy jumped to his feet. "Didn't torture me 'nough, did ya? 'ad ta come in here while Ah try ta face my one fear an' punish me s'more." The red in his eyes flared with anger. "Ah can't live t'rew it again, chere. Go 'way!"   
  
"Fine ya dirdy Swamp Rat! Ah see ya've replaced me. Go find in her arms what ya could nevah have with me!" Her eyes blazed with anger that surprised her. But it was better than tears. The anger made her stronger.  
  
"Ah didn't chose her ovah you, chere. You made de choice when ya left me ta die! So don' tell me dat Ah chose her. Ah want'd you." As he spit out accusations at her it seemed to do nothing but anger her. An anger so intense that you could see those clear eyes fill up with rage and boil over, affecting her entire expression.  
  
"Mistah Lebeau, Ah've shed 'nough teahs foah ya. All yoah doin' is stickin' yoah hand in tha' crawdad box, an' boy, soonah or latah yoah gonna get pinched."  
  
"Dammit! Whatcha don' u'dnerstand is dat Ah don' love ya no more. Leave me da hell alone, chere, an' stop hurtin' us bot'." A flourish of his coat signals his end to the conversation, and he leaves Rogue standing there, stewing in her own broth.   
  
She lifts off the ground and hovers there a moment. The tension building in her shoulders and betraying her in the clench of her fists. She pitches herself straight as an arrow and just as swift into the wall. She bounces off of it, the metal collapsing under her pressure and popping back into place with a sound that just hurts to hear. With a guttural cry from her lips she begins pitching herself over and over into the walls, trying to spend some of the anger.  
  
***  
  
He knew it wasn't right, but he was worried about her. Worried about them both. So he followed her to the danger room and watched in that little booth made for monitoring. It wasn't technically like spying. After all, that booth was there for a reason. In the end, he didn't really give a damn if it was spying.   
  
He saw the whole exchange between them and he took it all in with the solemn expression of one that doesn't care. But the very fact that he was there showed he cared more than the rest of the team, as all they did was avoid the situation as though doing so would make things go away. It really burned his cigar to see the group that was once so much like a family torn apart. He got up after Rogue slammed herself into the wall, intent upon trying to knock some sense into that Swamp Rat. Literally or figuratively would be the Cajun's choice.  
  
Atleast things hadn't changed much. Remy went to the same place that he always does when Rogue and him had a fight. It was the first place that Logan checked too. The roof. Can't teach an old dog new tricks he figured.   
  
Taking a large puff on his cigar he looks down at the figure of a guy he could have once call his brother.   
  
"Ya know, homme. It's sometime's bettah if ya keep ya nose outta udder people's bi'tness."  
  
"Not when ya'll 're tearin' the team apart, bub. Then I make it my business." Gruff voice barked out those words and he shifted his weight, eyes peering up to the sky halfheartedly. "Look. I'm not sayin' that ya have to love 'er, or even like 'er. Just try an' get 'long with her.   
  
With the lack of a response he knew that the Cajun was giving in. Him and Rogue had both been hurt too many times to try and continue it. And even though he was stubborn, it looked like Wolverine wouldn't have to use adamantium force. "Ya don' know what it was like. Bein' left alone ta die." Voice weak and signaling surrender.   
  
Logan shakes his head. "Nope, I don't. But I do know that she almost killed herself with guilt and comin' back here shredded whatever pride she had left. That doesn't make it right...doesn't make any of it right. But it doesn't give you any reason to treat her like ya are. Put tha past behind ya'll 'n move on."   
  
A deep, stress filled sigh filled the calm, blue sky as he stood up. "Alright, homme. Ah'll talk to de femme in de mornin'."  
  
With that, Logan was done with the Cajun. He made his way back to Rogue's room to try and cool the fire that Remy had burned in her heart.  
  
***  
  
Breath heaving and knuckles barely split even though she had put her full force into trying to knock down that wall. She did like Logan had told her. Don't aim for the target, aim for knocking something on the other side of the target, through it. Too bad those words were wasted on an inanimate object.   
  
She couldn't take it, it had been too much for her. She would give Remy back his card as a symbol only he would understand, pack up, and leave tonight. It was the only thing she could think to do. Too bad she couldn't go back to Bandera. That place was nice. They would look for her there. She plans it all out, just leave the card on his pillow ...like old times. But this time she wouldn't come back. Be just as silent as the wind. Mind filled with these thoughts as she set her body on auto-pilot from the danger room to Remy's. A path she knew well. Whenever dreams would overtake her sleep and she would wake up in a cold sweat, she would find her way, in the dark, and he would hold her, hold her like no one dared to.  
  
Turning the knob, she lifts her head as the door opens wider and is paralyzed. Shock and pain run through her eyes in pulsating waves and if there was anything in her mouth she surely would have choked. She falters, falling heavily the foot or so to the ground where she had levitated and landing hard on her feet.   
  
There, in the romantic glow of scented candles two lovers were finding comfort in their own embrace. Remy delivered passionate kisses to his fiancee like he could never do to Rogue. So much love. Everything that she had always wanted and could never have. They weren't making love, they didn't need to, a picture is worth a thousand words and seeing it in real life is worth the whole book. As soon as the 'thud' of Rogue's feet hit the ground, they parted, eyes wide at being discovered. They quickly recovered upon recognition of who their intruder was.   
  
Rogue barely heard Remy's cry out for her, mind so jumbled with emotions. She turned sharply, card fluttering to the ground in her attempt to get away. She needed to get to her room, needed to get there and pack, pack and leave, that's what she needed to do. Gloved hand raised and raked through her hair sharply, pulling it back from tortured eyes that stung with tears she refused to let fall.  
  
***  
  
He waited for her in her room still and calm with the patience of a predator that he was. He could tell that when she zipped inside and slammed the door she didn't notice him. Even when she got that old worn suitcase from the top of her closet and perched that hat on top of her head, ridiculous when paired with her training outfit that she didn't know he was there.   
  
"Bein' that unaware could get ya killed darlin'."  
  
He gave her points for not jumping and only when a slight salty scent made its way to his nostrils and he could see her shoulders shaking did he realize that she was crying. In an instant the tough he-man Canadian was reduced to nothing. His heart melted and in that moment he knew he hated the Cajun.  
  
***  
  
Remy had comforted the startled Katie and drew on some sweat pant bottoms, racing out of the room after Rogue. A million thoughts raced through his mind. Part of him was glad she saw them, glad he hurt her and glad that she could finally feel some of the pain he had felt. The other part wanted to throw himself out a window. Somewhere deep inside he still loved her, and hated himself, as well as her for letting it get this far. Logan was right, and he'd only made it worse. They needed to stop torturing each other. But was there ever going to be a common ground between them? Would they ever be able to look at each other in the eyes and not only find bitterness and pain? He didn't know the answer to these questions any more than he knew what he was going to say when he found her.   
  
***  
  
Logan placed a strong hand on Rogue's shoulder, turning her around to face him. "Darlin'...what's wrong? What'd he do?" His tone was firm, but gentle and it further baffled him when she threw her arms around his neck, sobbing, barely able to make words.   
  
It didn't last long though. When you've cried the better part of two years, there just aren't many tears left. "Ah saw 'im, Wolvie...Ah saw 'im and 'er. Ah can't do it...Ah just can't."  
  
She didn't need to say anymore. The pieces quickly fell into place and he smoothed back her hair until she looked up at him. "It'll be okay Darlin'...I promise."  
  
Rogue saw something in Logan's eyes. Something that she couldn't explain and hadn't been present in anyone's eyes for a long time. Love. In that moment she forgot everything. Forgot her powers, her pain and everything but those brown eyes, those brown eyes turned black on red. In a motion that seemed to take eons to complete, she lifted her gloved hand and stroked his cheek, pulling his face towards hers and pressing those rare peach tinted lips against his. Rare because not many men had tasted those sweet lips, and those who had hadn't lived to tell about it.   
  
Logan's body reacted to her touch, the animal in him grabbed a fistful of those auburn tresses, pressing her mouth to his more firmly, their bodies warm and pulsing with passion. Sadly, it was short lived. As Logan welcomed the darkness that came over him, images of Rogue's lips still on his mind, he barely heard her utter the Cajun's name under the grip of passion that was slowly releasing her from it's clutches.   
  
***  
  
They didn't see him. They didn't see him as he watched what he couldn't never have with her. He didn't hear her utter his name, or wasn't able to make residence inside her mind when she pictured Remy instead of Logan. He didn't know that she still loved him. If they would have seen the anguish that filled his eyes when her lips touched his, and the raw, pain filled sound that came from his lips as they pulled each other closer, they would have known that he still loved her. Katie did. Katie had followed him, as curious as one person could get, the mystery just deepened. Her heart broke with the look in his eyes and shattered with his sound from his lips.   
  
There were four hearts broken that night, and four lives changed. How will they ever make it out the same?  
  
****  
  
Ha! No one knows how proud I am of that. I sure hope ya'll enjoy it and it wasn't as predictable as I fear it might have been. I know there are a lot of things unexplained, but I'm really interested in this one and know where it's going, so it shouldn't be long before more is up. Thanks Randi! You've helped me a lot so far, I hope this one is up to your standards. Okay, grammer is probably not the best, and the accents suck to hell and back, but I'm proud of it! 


	4. Love Like You Can't Remember

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, we all know I don't own or make any money off of 'em.  
  
Notes: I don't know anything about Everclear, I just know it's some strong stuff. I'm just making the details up.  
  
Chapter 4  
  
He had woken up a few hours ago and when the realization of what happened hit him, it was almost too much to bear. So he'd hunkered down, in -her- room for the time being. He had needed something to drink, stronger than the beer he usually kept and stronger than the wine or whiskey he sometimes enjoyed. So he'd gone to his private stash. Something he kept for when he was just about ready to piss on himself with the self-loathing he was feeling. Everclear. The good stuff. It burned when it went down, and damned near made you want to kill yourself when it settled on an empty stomach. But then, for the couple of minutes it took for his healing factor to kick in, it was blissful forget.   
  
After that. It was her. He'd let himself get in too deep, and either one of two things would happen. They'd reconcile and Rogue would go back with Remy and they'd forget that embarrassing little episode with Logan ever happened, or she'd stay away from Remy and Logan and turn lesbian. A slight smile quirked at Logan's lips. He genuinely couldn't see Rogue as a lesbian. Nothin' against 'em. She just wasn't that type. No matter how much he tamed his semi-logical mind to fit himself into the equation with Rogue, it just wouldn't happen. He'd crossed that line and now he would have to pay for it. He wouldn't be man enough to admit, and would avoid it come hell or high water, but he loved her. Loved her like he couldn't remember. He hated him, hated him like he could remember all too clearly. That's what his life too full of. Hate. Hatred and killing. Too far in the game to go back now. He was thinking gibberish and he knew it. The clearity right after the Everclear had worn off was short lived, and he sought to drown it with another large gulp from the crystal bottle still about halfway full. He could finish a whole damned bottle of this shit in one night and not feel so much as lightheaded in the morning.   
  
Back to what happened. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, still not willing to believe what had happened, really happened. Running a calloused hand over his stubble, he takes another swig. The grimace he's coached himself out of making, appearing despite his efforts. The last thing he remembered was pulling Rogue close to him, all his animal instincts reacting to everything about her. The smell, the taste, and the feel of that womanly body. Oh, the time he could have had with her. He had savored that kiss like it was his last gulp of fresh air. When he felt the life start to be sucked from him, he merely held on tighter, grasping her head in a firm grip via her hair until the last possible moment when he dropped to the ground, hitting it and falling unconscious. He was almost sure that her heart had been into the entire thing, and it was really him that she was thinking of until those last four seconds.  
  
One: He let go.  
  
Two: She uttered Remy's name. His heart broke.   
  
Three: He saw Remy, at the door, his eyes more tortured than he could ever remember seeing them.  
  
Four: He slept.   
  
It hurt like hell when he finally did figure out what had happened, and why no one was here. That pissed him off more than anything. He'd missed another damned mission. They were all gone, somewhere, without him. So instead of taking his anger out on something that he could kill, he had to drown it. Drown it and forget it. But he would never forget. That was the bad part.   
  
***  
  
She was sitting on the Blackbird as it lurched ahead, Scott steadying it ever so often, and going over the plans of a warehouse that they were suppose to destroy that supposedly was engineering sentinels, and also held a mutant captive. That's how Charles got involved. He recognized the mutant signature, and sent them out. Telling them it was their chance to kill two birds with one stone. It was suppose to bring them a few steps closer to their dream, their goal. One that Rogue wasn't even sure existed anymore. It was like killing a roach in your house. You saw one, killed it, but didn't really cling onto the fact that behind the walls, under floor, all around, they were everywhere. And all killing that one did was postpone the inevitable, delay what would soon trickle out of that little hole in the floor over by the oven.  
  
Xavier had let her come, telling her telepathically while the rest of the team studied the blueprints to the warehouse that she had improved so much that she could only help them. And they needed all the help they could get.   
  
It was hard, but she had to stop herself from thinking of him. Thinking of the man she left passed out on her floor. Charles hadn't asked. It was pretty obvious when she walked into the mission room, claws extended and cursin' like a sailor. It had faded now, and she only got a few glimpses when she let down her guard and started thinking about him. He loved her so much. It surprised and scared him. And he knew that she could never love him like he wanted. Egh, like now. She needed to stop thinking of him and concentrate.   
  
She held her hands face down on her thighs, the yellow and green mission suit of old adorning her restored curves and toned limbs. Just for old times sake she had slipped the headband on her head, so achingly familiar. Her hair was getting long too. The thick waves crawled down her back and ended in a soft curl almost at her butt. And as always, the white strip that did good to serve just how tainted her life was polluted her auburn tresses like a blotch of all her mistakes in an otherwise clean life.  
  
***  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her, sitting there and looking at her hands like they might sprout a third one. Even as he held the hand of who before God he was willing to say he'd love for the rest of his life, he knew he'd be lying. The woman he would love for the rest of his life he couldn't touch, could never touch. Wow, he had made progress. It might have almost driven him crazy, but admitting that he still loved her didn't even anger her anymore. That's what seeing them together had done to them. Even now -that- had been enough to boil his blood. But he couldn't do anything about it. Before he could launch himself on the unconscious Canadian, Xavier had called them. It took a lot more courage than he ever thought he had to just walk away, hands clenching into fists at his sides. He had stayed long enough to let Rogue see him, and allow him to hear the surprised gasp when it all clicked into place.  
  
He shouldn't be surprised, after all, what had she seen only a few moments earlier? That had been different though. He didn't really love Katie. He was almost certain of it now.   
  
Ugh, he didn't know what to do. He laid his head back on the seat and closed his eyes, it was going to be a long ride.  
  
***  
  
Cyclops set the plane on auto-pilot for the time being, he stood up and stretched his muscles, eyes landing on the emotionally stressed members of the crew. He didn't know what to say to them. He could lead, he could motivate, but when it came to matters of the heart, he came up dry. He had always had a stable relationship with Jean, and he valued that. So when his eyes swept over them, he knew that if he had to fail them in this, it would be the only thing.  
  
"Alright team, we're approaching the warehouse. This should be a pretty cut and dry mission. Dr. Bower, you stay here with Hank should any medical problems arise. Remy, you and Rogue go in first, stay to the left and clear the path so Jean, Storm and I can go make the rescue. I don't care what damage you cause to the machines, just make sure we're covered." He nodded his head once, eyes sweeping over the crew once more to make sure no one had any questions, before turning back to piloting the plane.   
  
***   
  
A mere seven seconds after Cyclops sat down after delivering a rather short version of one of his speeches, three things happened simultaneously. The windows on the Blackbird shattered. Rogue, Storm, Cyclops, and Hank all grabbed their heads, crying out in pain, and they all fell down.   
  
***  
  
Blackness, and pain. She tentatively opened her eyes, and searing pain caused by an overhead light made her close them again. It was all coming back to her now, though. It was a trap, and now they were caught. Left to be used like anyone's meat. After a few minutes, she hid her eyes and opened them...slowly.   
  
A cell, she was in a cell. Well, at least she could see. There was a cell, with bars and everything. A bunk bed with dirty mattresses, and one toilet. She almost laughed. Didn't they know who she was? She could just breathe on the bars and they would open for her. Okay, not really, but it was close. And then, she felt it. The collar. She screamed and tore at the thing with her fingers. There was still strength there. Whoever made these things wasn't some big time villain. They probably go the instructions from ebay. Settling down, she sat up, and swung her legs over the side. She was on the top bunk, and instead of jumping down to land on the ground, she jumped, but activated that little switch in her mind that enabled her to fly. She didn't fly, didn't even come close. But at least she didn't make a fool of herself and fall onto her bottom. She floated down. Which said this collar wasn't the split second working ones, it was on that drained, leaving you a numb mass of your former self.   
  
Eyes landed on him, and hatred burned for what she discovered. Of all the people on the cotton-pickin' plane, they had to put her with him. And he was there, watching her. Those eyes no longer shrouded with sun shades, she could almost see his lips quirk in the familiar smile. But they didn't. He held no more smiles for her. Knowing that since he was awake before she was, that he would have the info, she sat down indian style on the ground, returning his look stare for stare.  
  
"So what do we know, sugah?"  
  
At first, it didn't seem like he would answer her, but then he shrugged, winding his arms behind his head casually. "De telepat's are de only ones who made it outta dere." He thinks a moment. "Scott 'n' Hank 're in de cell 'cross from us, Ro to de right of dem." He shrugs a bit. "Whoever caught us sure don' know what dey doin', non?"  
  
Rogue rolls her eyes. "Great, now mah life depends on a stuck-up, psychopathic doctor. Sure hope Jeannie's got plenty of reserves." She still stared at him, as though daring him to make some reaction.   
  
He did. His eyes blazed anger and he glared at her. If looks could have killed, she would've been in a million pieces all over this room. "Atleast she won' leave me, chere." His venomous tone only made the comment sting that much more.   
  
"Ya dirty Cajun! Ya nevah even gave me a chance. Ya condemn me beforah ya even know. Goin' behind mah back with that wench." She stood up, putting her hands on her hips.  
  
He matches her stance, on his feet in seeming seconds and staring at her like never before. "What are ya talkin' 'bout? Crazy femme! Ah wasn't de one who left ya in ANTARCTICA! An' besides, atleast Ah can touch 'er, kiss 'er, and tell 'er how much Ah love 'er." He wanted to hurt her, wanted to hurt her as much as she's hurt him. The tortured look in her eyes was all he needed. Just about to turn around, the damage done, he didn't have time to dodge the fist that connected solidly with the side of his face. Whoo...that would bruise.   
  
Even with her powers draining from her, she still packed a helluva punch. It was enough to send him sailing down across the room, to smack his head on the bars. Usually she was more careful that than. She would never put him in any real danger. Miraculously he didn't black out, but he knew a mild concussion was involved, and he also knew, when his demon eyes met hers of green ice, that he'd gone too far.  
  
Strands of auburn circled wildly about her face in some unseen breeze that circulated throughout the complex. Her hands clenched at her sides, and newly redefined muscles twitched with an obvious effort. Her gloved hands were clenched into tight fists, and he could tell that the skin underneath would be ghost white with the effort.   
  
She glared down at him. It looked like she was ready to let his head become a field goal. And when she spoke, her vocal cords were strained with the same emotion of the rest of her body. "Doncha evah...evah say somethin' like that ta me again. Or so help me, Remy, Ah'll..." She shakes her head, unable to finish the bitter words that linger in the back of her throat like bile. It hurts her to think them, and knew it would hurt him beyond repair to say them.  
  
He hung his head, willing to accept his defeat. He once loved her so much. It hurt him to know that he turned her this way. Turned his bright spirited woman into something so dark and vile. "Kill me, chere. Ya've already murdered mah heart."  
  
She turned away from him so quickly that with a sinking feeling he almost thought that she was willing to consider it. He let his eyes fall closed, willing to put his fate in the hands one who hated him so.   
  
When no such fate came, he opened his eyes, opened them to find that his little Southern gem had collapsed in a sea of tears in the middle of the cell. Her back was to him, and she hugged herself, as though she wished all the world could be squeezed from her sight. She didn't made a sound. It was the type of crying that came from the soul. The heart-wrenching kind that made the tears sear a trail down your skin and hurt you more than helped release the pain in your heart.  
  
He knew he loved her, he still loved her more than anything. If he could take away the pain that she was feeling right now, he would. Moving up quietly behind her, he wrapped his arms around her, and held her close, whispering soft things in French in her ear and wiping the tears from her eyes.  
  
She sniffled, hiccoughing a few times before she finally was able to speak. "Remy...Ah'm so sorrah. Ah nevah wanted ta hurtcha. Ah love ya so much, and ya don' hafta love me no more, Ah jus' can't bare foah ya ta hate me."  
  
She buried her face in his chest and for a moment he thought she would cry again. When she didn't, he slowly leaned back away from her, taking her chin in his hand and tilting it up so her eyes met his. "Chere...ya gotta know dat Remy couldn't love no one but you." His voice was choked full of emotion, and even though he tried to come off as a flirt, his eyes seeped sincerity and the thing that meant the most to Rogue, forgiveness.   
  
Her eyes welled up with tears again, but they didn't fall. They just stayed in her eyes to make them glisten like gems, and Remy lowered his face to hers and their lips locked. At first, there was the slightest of tugs from her powers, but then it died away, and they shared a kiss so full of love and passion that anyone looking on would have surely looked away, knowing they stumbled upon something wholly intimate and truly sweet. Something that if interrupted would surely be marked as a sin.  
  
***  
  
While two lovers were sharing a timeless embrace, and three team members tried to work a way out of their captor's snare, even though they knew not the identity of them, the lights just suddenly went out. It was like someone flicked the big switch and everything was turned off. Including, the collars.   
  
The X-Men didn't need to be told twice, they quickly escaped from their electric powered cells, and since they had already studied the blueprints to the building, they made their way to the main part of the building, with only the poorly made collars as a memory that they had even been there.   
  
***  
  
Jean Grey and Dr. Bower met them in the main room, which was just a huge warehouse. The lights had come on in a matter of minutes courtesy of a backup generator, but by then, the X-Men had already reformed themselves and were ready for whatever their foe had to present them.  
  
Jean quickly embraced Scott, and addressed him as well as the rest of the group, while Katie went to go stand by "her" Cajun. Rogue glaring at her all the while in almost a child-like way where one kid has a candy bar the other wants.   
  
Jean frowned lightly. "Obviously whoever we are dealing with isn't the brightest of the baddies we've encountered. All of their main circuitry was rooted to one generator, and once we took that out if just cut all their systems down for three minutes until their back-up generators kicked in."  
  
Hank scratched his head a wide smile showing his fangs. "What a most brilliant idea."  
  
Jean shrugged. "Actually, it was Katie who knew all the stuff, I just carried it out. Plus the fact that whoever made this factory are really morons."  
  
Katie blushed, everything in her little world seeming to come together. Little does she know that it is far from the truth.  
  
Cyclops quickly took lead of the team. "Alright, we'll still go ahead as planned, I don't think that there are any captives left. I think they took the lead from the little blackout. Rogue and Gambit --"   
  
"You think you're pretty smart, dontcha X-geeks?" A high pitched voice came from above them exposing a little man, with long yellow hair pulled into a pony-tail, and balancing on what looked like a hovering surfboard, white lab coat billowing out behind him.   
  
Floating beside him was a rather beautiful girl. Eyes of darkest raven and hair of crimson silk...and that was just the appetizer. The main dish was a well kept body, with what looked like an opera dress, shredded beyond recognition and floating about her seemingly with it's own will. "We can't let you destroy our hard work. Get back in your cages like good little rats, or we'll put you back." Her voice was beautiful and sort of sing-songy, but was laced with a nastyness. She would be great at phone sex.   
  
Hank balanced himself on his front paws eyeing the villains. "You must admit, they are rather inspiring in their perseverance." He chuckled to himself, and landed on his back feet.  
  
Scott frowned lightly. "So that's what happened to the Bird. That's Siryn. She emits a rather destructive force from her vocal cords and I don't recognize him." Almost unconciously, the more willing to battle members of the X-Men had gathered in a circle, putting their team mates at their back, while Katie and Hank tried to inconspicuously stand in the background.   
  
Storm raised her arms and her eyes turned milk-white, an unseen force lifted her into the air about equal with the other two.   
  
Rogue took Storm's lead and lifted herself into the air, grateful, however little, for the return of her powers.   
  
Instantly the others broke away and begun spreading themselves out to do as much damage as they could to the area itself, with Cyclops staying behind for back-up in case they needed him.  
  
Siryn took a deep breath, ready to belt out another tune when Storm lifts her arms again. "Let us see how well you can sing if you can't breathe." A wicked smile comes to her lips and the doors fly open, window's shattering with the force the Weather Witch exerts. Suddenly, a cyclone of dirt and wind pick up around Siryn, and before she can knock the sense out of the two, she's choking. Grabbing at her throat, she can barely utter a sound, so much as belt out a tune to knock the two out. The wind goes 'round and 'round faster and faster until little cuts appear on the surface of her skin, Storm only relents when the girl passes out, she dumping her body in a corner.  
  
Rogue had kept her eyes on the short and greasy one weaving about on his home-made flying surf board. Darting infront of him, she aims a swing at him. "Where do ya think yoah goin' sugah?" But she misses, a small growl coming from her lips as he flies straight towards Katie, who is watching Gambit throw some explosive cards onto an assembly line.   
  
"Katie!" But she turns too late, and the mutant who calls himself Life Force scoups Katie up, and drains her energy...he would have killed her, but Rogue comes up behind him and knocks his board out from under him, he plummeting to the ground. She dips low to catch Katie and deposit her with Hank. Finding out to her dismay that he wasn't knocked out, only a yellowish glow coming from his body. He throws out his hands and blasts of destructive concussive energy, yellow and sickeningly looking in their own respect, hurt towards Rogue.   
  
She manages to dodge the first few, flying up in the air and darting around with the expertise of one who has practiced such maneuvering. He obviously hadn't practiced very much, and the life force he had stolen from Katie was quickly running out. The blasts getting smaller and smaller. Rogue doubled back around, picking up a spare piece of metal that was most of what was left in the assembly area, taking aim, and swinging, knocking the little man all the way across the room. She lands, a smile on her lips. "An' it's outta tha park!"   
  
****  
  
Alright. I know that whole last part sucked to hell and back. But you know what? I don't care. I'm almost done with this fic and I'm proud of it. The villains aren't mind either, they are some I just dug up, and I know the appearances of both are prolly wrong, but they are how I saw them in my mind given the info I had. I suck at fight sequences, they are something I defiantly need to work on....so be patient with me.   
  
What else? Oh yeah! Thanks s'more to Randi! You're awesome, and I promise just as soon as this is done I'll work on yours. I just have to get this done now, or it'll never be done.   
  
Oh yeah, I don't know if any of that electrical stuff sounded believable, I just couldn't think of anything else. 


	5. Broken Hearts

Disclaimer: Yeah, we all know I don't own any of Marvel's character's and Katie is the only one that's mine.   
  
Notes: Thanks a bunch to Randi! I really don't know how far this would have gotten without all your help. Thanks s'more to all of ya'lls reviews, even though there aren't many, I haven't been a very consistent author, so why should my readers be any different.  
  
****  
  
Chapter 5  
  
They were all gathered in the missions room after their not so big fight. Katie was in the infirmary, being tended to by Beast. Oddly enough, the power worked very much like Rogue's, except for the fact that he didn't keep her memories or powers, just used her life force to create "bullets." Katie would be fine, and the rest of the X-Men were in high spirits for their victory, even though it wasn't very gratifying.   
  
Xavier moved gracefully in front of the group who had been mingling for the better part of ten minutes before he decided to show himself. "X-Men." That one word, filled with both authority and command got the bunch to quiet down. "I know that those adversaries didn't seem very formidable, but the threat you eliminated was a rather large one."  
  
There was one thing that had been bothering Storm since the two had presented themselves in all their glory. She took this brief pause to address it. "Why were there mutants working in a sentinel factory?" One graceful brow arched, and the mingled responses of the rest of her team told her that in all the fuss, they hadn't bothered to even put that together.  
  
A smile touched her mentor's lips and he nodded his head once in her observation, waiting a moment for things to quiet down. "I'm glad one of you brought attention to it. The reason I sent you out there at all, is that those two were working for a much higher force." His eyes clouded over for the fraction of a second. "Magneto. Those were not sentinels for mutants. They were for humans. Magneto has created a sentinel that has the ability to catch humans the very same way the others manage to lock onto the signature for mutants. I'm guessing he's putting out an equalizer."   
  
There were varied reactions to the news delivered by Xavier. Most of them were used to it. That is, Magneto trying to dominate himself above others. It meant that the quiet times at the mansion would have to be postponed for a while. Them destroying one factory was hardly a reason for Magneto to throw his cards on the table and call quits.   
  
***  
  
After the meeting, most broke up into their groups, either to regenerate on some lost energy, or kill time on some type of recreation.   
  
For Remy and Rogue; however, an unspoken message was passed between them. They filed out of the room and Rogue followed Remy down a few hallways to ensure some privacy.  
  
Remy stopped once they were alone, out of most ear shots and faced Rogue. She leaned on the wall, one hand resting lightly on the yellow and green suit that adorned her body. "Ya got somethi' ta say sugah?" Her words weren't harsh or mocking, with some hidden meaning for once, they were just words.   
  
Remy paced back and forth in front of her, trench coat billowing at his ankles with every turn. "Is dis da happy endin' chere?" He stopped suddenly in front of her, hare's breath away from a sweet caress. But she didn't have the collar on any more.   
  
Rogue placed a gloved hand on his chest, and pushed him away from her. "Ah love ya Remy, always will." Her head bowed and she dropped her hand. "But Ah'm not Katie. Ya can't have a family with me like ya can with her." Was this really happening? Was she giving him permission to go ahead with his dream life?  
  
There wasn't a single sound after the words were uttered out of her mouth. For a moment, it almost seemed like he had walked away in search of that perfect life that she couldn't offer him. Then she felt his hands, through her gloves, catch up her hands, his were warm despite the clothing that parted them. Her face rose slowly to meet a pair breathtaking crimson on midnight eyes and she was lost once again. "Chere, ya know dat Remy love ya. He don' love Katie." She bowed her head as he pulled her close, the mane of hair protecting his chin as he rested it on the top her head. Her face buried gently in his chest. Apparently all you needed was love.  
  
***  
  
They had parted with the reluctance that lovers often show. Remy to Katie, and Rogue to Logan. Things couldn't always be easy. They had loose ends to tie up and after murmured "good lucks" they at least knew that in the end they would have each other.  
  
Remy stalked darkly down the corridor that led to the infirmary. If one were to spot him, they would be sure that he was out for a kill. Really, he was trying to find the words to let down a woman. That's one thing he hated and couldn't do. He could steal off in the night with broken promises and hearts trailing behind him. But he really wasn't man enough to hold the girl's hand as she cried, thinking she failed him in some way.   
  
He thought maybe he would have some time to think it over, and plan what he was going to say while Katie recovered from the energy drain that she suffered. He let out an obvious sigh of relief when he walked into the infirmary, hand coming up and running over scratchy cheek as he lowered himself into a chair. All the grace of liquid fire.   
  
Katie's face held little difference in sleep. She was too young to really have any signs of aging that smoothed out in sleep, and though she didn't have that contemplative look that came with being awake, she looked like she was perhaps in a suspended blink, about to open her eyes and smile at Remy. He looked at her and his eyes scrunched in though. What did he see in her? She wasn't really his type now that he thought about it. Her demeanor was calm and collected. She didn't really have a hard life that would define her as sassy and spirited. The more he thought, the more he compared her to Rogue, and the more she failed that test.   
  
Then, it hit him. He could see her face when he first saw her, and again when they made love for the first time. It was her eyes. They were so close to that sparkling emerald he so loved. He had used this girl. Used her because of what she looked like and who she reminded him of. He laughed then, a short bark of laughter that caused his hair to shade his eyes. Even though he hated Rogue for that short time, he still couldn't help but think of her. His mind wouldn't let him forget.  
  
"Remy?" Her voice was soft, and feminine. God what was he thinking? He lifted his head, a mask of concern carefully clouding his features.   
  
He went down on his knees beside her bed, gently lifting her hand in his. His mouth opened, lips parted in suspended action.  
  
To his surprise, she interrupted him before he could speak. "Remy...I was thinking." Her voice was strong enough, but it held that soft quality of one who is genuinely tired. "I don't think we should see each other any more." She was so calm, those clear eyes, who's most worldly trouble was whether or not she was going to get her cell phone bill paid on time, met his. She didn't know him as the heart-breaker he was, and didn't know that what she was doing, he had done so many times by merely walking away.   
  
He couldn't speak. Was she actually breaking up with him? She took his silence as what it was astonishment...and something it wasn't, sorrow.   
  
She took a deep breath, and squeezed his hand ever so gently. "I'm really sorry. But, it really doesn't seem to be working out."   
  
After his initial surprise, he played up to the part. His teeth bit into his lower lip and he flicked back his hair with a tilt of his head. "Don' say no more, chere. Remy know." He sighs heavily and dips his head to kiss her hand before standing and leaving with a flourish. He could barely hide his smile as he exited the hallway.  
  
***  
  
Katie wasn't stupid, she could see what was going on between them, she was being used. Just like everyone else that he used. She thought it would break her heart to give him up to her. Her ...who she knew so little about. But it didn't. That must mean that she wasn't as enamored by him as she thought.  
  
Ever since Rogue had shown up, she thought the bitter hatred would return, and that he would come to her with open arms. She was wrong. He closed himself off. Tighter than she had ever seen. When a gentle probe into his mind had proved extremely unsuccessful, she knew that it could never be.   
  
As she closed her eyes, her breath returning to normal and her pains slowly easing, she didn't, and probably would never know what weight she had eased off of his shoulders.  
  
***  
  
Kitchen, lounge, living room, her room, backyard, front yard, he didn't seem to be anywhere. She didn't fly with urgency, because she knew that he had to be somewhere. It was just a matter of finding him. There hadn't been so much as a trace of him when she had gone into her room. The booze scent was gone, and her bed was neatly made. That's when she knew something was definitely not right. She wasn't suppose to be the one who broke hearts. It wasn't right. That was Remy. She was "happy" being the untouchable one that no one could love. When had it crossed that line? When had it become something more?  
  
Running a hand through her slightly damp with sweat hair, she lowers her eyes to the mission suite that adorned her body. She didn't land when she saw his figure hunched just inside the tree line that covered the back of the mansion. Merely, she floated, about a centimeter off the ground, so her "steps" would be made deaf.   
  
She didn't know why she did it this way. Perhaps her careful steps represented the fragile level that their relationship was at.  
  
"Heya Wolvie...sugah. Can Ah talk to ya?" That deep southern drawl hung in the air thickly. He didn't move when she said it, more than likely having already smelled she was there.  
  
"...so talk darlin'." He hated himself for the hurt that was evident in his voice. Hated that he couldn't mask it like so many others.   
  
She kept about five feet between them, not knowing how close was too close. But she didn't know that she didn't have to say anything. He could smell him. Remy, mingling with her scent like so much Cajun heat. He could tell her that he knew they were together now, and that there was no room for this Canadian.  
  
"Ah'm sorrah foah kissin' ya." Never one to beat around the bush. It always seemed like she was apologizing for something now-a-days. Ruining someone's life in one way or another. She hung her head, auburn tendrils tainted with white covering that shamed face.  
  
He snorted. She was sorry for kissing him. Not sorry for breakin' his heart with someone that didn't even deserve her, and not even sorry for stealing his heart without him knowing until it was too late and he...sucked under by her eyes, her every movement as though they too held the absorption power she hated so. Maybe he was over reacting, but he cared for her so, and it was like a knife in a wound that would never close. What good was a healing factor if it did nothing to ward off a pain this strong? A pain that would never go away?   
  
As soon as he smelled her on the gentle breeze that tried to calm his raging spirit his blood had sped up. Those words uttered from her crimson lips had torn at his heart. He had fallen victim to Rogue. Just another casualty. He didn't mind that she put him into that brief coma. What hurt was that she sucked his heart away just as unwillingly as if she had carelessly run her fingers across his stubbled cheek.   
  
It came to him, then. He wasn't so much mad at her as he was mad at himself. Mad at himself for being so vulnerable. A rage of torrent emotions ran through him and he let out a heartfelt and pain filled cry, running off into the woods with the speed and passion that was his namesake. Leaving a bewildered and hurt Rogue left to pick up the pieces.   
  
He would get over it, sure. They say that a broken heart hurts the worst for the first couple of days. They might even go so far as to be friends again. He knew that he could never truly cut her from his life. She was like a drug. A horribly addictive drug that would one day kill you. He had gotten out with just a broken heart, but how much would the Cajun lose?  
  
****  
  
Okay, gosh this thing is finally done. I'm not sure how I feel about the very ending, the twist that is suppose to confuse you as much as it confuses me. I really don't know why I chose to end it like that, but it seemed different than just saying. "And Rogue and Remy lived happily ever after." It's like, she has what she wants, but she will always be a curse that ends up hurting the ones that she loves. Not just talking about her powers. I would really like feedback as to what ya'll think of it and such. Oh, and I'm slowly but surely updating my stories. Yes...all of them will get done! @.@ I just need to know if you'd like an email update of when I get a chapter done here and there. 


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